all the time
always the same

hmm. our youth.

what can i say? senior power. whoop.
i hope someone awesome calls me tonight.
bahhhh

when she smiles when you look at her.
the forced smile.
sorry
she was busy choking back tears.
because of how fucked up everything is.
and how sophmore year was easier
and how college is coming fast.
and shes not ready.
and she wants to cry for all the mistakes.
because shes thinking of them all
and shes wondering how she got here
and shes lost in it all

(nothing gets crossed out)

The future has got me worried, such awful thoughts.
My head is a carousel of pictures.
The spinning never stops.
I just want someone to walk in front and I'll follow the leader.
Like when I fell under the weight of a schoolboy crush.
I started carrying her books and doing lots of drugs.
I almost forgot who I was, but came to my senses.
Now I try to be assertive. I'm making plans.
I want to rise to the occasion, yeah, meet all of their demands.
But all I do is just lay in bed and hide under the covers.
I know I should be brave but I'm just afraid of all this change.
It's hard to focus through all this doubt.
I keep making these "To Do" lists but nothing ever gets crossed out.
Even working on the record seems pointless now.
When the world ends, who's gonna hear it?
But I try and take some comfort in written words, yeah Tim I heard your album and it's better than good.
When you get off tour I think we should hang and black out together.
Because I've been feeling sentimental
for days gone by...all those summers singing, drinking, laughing, wasting out time.
Remember all those songs and the way we smiled in those basements made of music.
But now I've got to crawl to get anywhere at all.
I'm not as strong as I thought.

So when I'm lost in a crowd, I hope that you'll pick me out.
Oh, how I long to be found.
The grass grew high.
I laid down.
Now I wait for a hand to lift me up,
help me stand.
I have been laying so low don't want to lay here no more.

But if everything that happens is supposed to be and it is predetermined, you can't change your destiny.
Then I guess I'll just keep moving and someday, maybe, I'll get to where I'm going.

~bright eyes

theres a three quarter moon over pheonix
but it dont shine through trinity tower
and itll be midnight in minutes
but in this light minutes take hours
if some kid hadnt busted this street light
youd see the fear in my eyes
if i hadnt wasted those tears on my last love
i might just be able to cry

and i know you think that i dont understand what your saying
you couldnt be anymore wrong.
if i knew the words darling
i would be singing along

and the sidewalk is taking it so hard
the on ramp keeps turning its head
i see the stoplight start blinking
cause they cant believe whats been said

....

and i know your not over reacting
that ill never be over you

-readyville

in laguna beach. its really beautiful down here. my mouth really hurts because of mouth operations. but besides that.

tired. frustrated. confused. loved. hated. pissed. cranky. done.